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Great stars or I just am?

I wonder where my gratitude lies These burdens of privileges make me seem ungrateful Still I’m not not humble Sometimes lost, other times unmotivated Am I a medium of misplacing trust I know what to deliver but Why do I sometimes prefer abstinence I’d rather not get up I tell myself it’s not procrastination but lack of reason I have plenty, simply faith of my believers should suffice My distant past seems bright, Recent past worse than the present Since I can write it down, The inscribed tense must make the function continuous Why do I want to call it jet instead of aeroplane Why do I want to call it Yah-tin instead of Yuh-tin Why do I call it paasta now This pretension weakens my cause This writing seems creative, makes me prouder I crave appreciation, am I complacent I am complacent, self-appreciation is also appreciation Some people are great, they make you feel new I prefer being away from family, brings us closer I trade things I have for things I used to or don’t And then trade those things for what I do Do I gain more than lost The gain will soon be traded for losses regardless Is there a threshold to my number of trades Will I settle down at some point I guess new experiences help me gain more than lose I feel empty after the great moments pass Am I governed by balances or am I in control Am I allowed to wander Will too much nectar not make it taste like water eventually Are highest peaks always followed by lowest depressions I like to think I can decide Although uncontrollable happiness would deem passion, goals futile I can choose my emotions I don’t have a counterargument to futility Except this power of decision Terming it a proof by contradiction doesn’t seem illogical Regardless I’m trading traits for feelings Intelligence for community Economic status for lifestyle Wow that’s my privilege So many can’t afford fresh feelings Then is that the goal? Trade until you can’t gain anymore Hit the threshold, reach satisfaction If only most immediate actions aligned With great stars and intentions Must owe great responsibilities Or all I owe to anyone is to make sure I’m happy and grateful Is it not oblivion to be only self-satisfied Helping the less fortunate could be responsible But is it abiding by society or To society is happiness of some people more valuable The post-greatness hollowness bothers me Partly because the moment is over Partly because it seems selfish to enjoy my privileges Again do inconsequential endless happy trails exist Sometimes are shaped great cycles Being self-satisfied translates to spreading smiles to less fortunate Helping less fortunate contributes to self-satisfaction “We have to work together as a race” One in thirty-nine seemed really unlikely Can’t pick when I believe in luck And when in fortune Don’t remember having layered dreams before Wouldn’t mind Shelton’s hair Do making moves on those imaginary board games Allude to the hurried beats of my misled heart Unbiased coin flips are my saved registers Always dictating my morals somehow Unaltered by environmental functions Are morals closer to coincidences or to stars Shittiest reason ever, but coincidentally we talk of stars here I will say stars, I’m so fortunate Should be patient said coin I will have my chance Why are my temptations tested so often Precious gems must birth from strongest resistances But isn’t my price frivolous if my target customer isn’t interested Greatest marketeers sell products to non-audiences Isn’t that a scam, even though the customer comes ‘voluntarily’ I don’t wish to scam anyone I’d rather know if he isn’t interested It’ll be more efficient to market elsewhere or not at all I’m fine with getting closure, not fine, but better than now The coin promises me my wishes It has always stood up Unsure if it’s my impatience or customer’s disrespect The latter seems unlikely but I’m no mind reader Be happy with what you get And stop expecting more than you deserve Do cool words hide my insecurities I wish no deceit But not knowing myself means I can’t promise accurate portrayals Should people not advertise if uncertain about the product My intrinsic inability to know is limiting A higher species could be expected better from These agents deem my morals ineffective Nobody does consider morals universally true Axioms can’t be subjective Truth doesn’t exist for certain cases Replicating in a machine would be interesting Settling for morals isn’t immoral for a case with no truth If I could execute my thoughts I’d be better Being a better person is all I thrive for Checked the heart Need to check the discipline The more I explain myself The more my thoughts become boring Three hours were wasted thinking about nothing I could vanish and nothing changes Unsure if a depressing or an irrelevant statement Apparently getting to top isn’t hard Staying up there is Yet from ashes to flames makes a great story But keeping the flame burning isn’t respected as much Rather watch slumdog millionaire than A documentary - Donald trump doesn’t lose his dad’s money This undervalues work in the latter scenario Speaks of human nature Not just more appreciation for effort than for success, Efforts behind successes are less regarded too Can’t distinguish genuine appeals from plots meant to sway People state things they don’t believe in To support temporary arguments It’s unfair to pick and choose opposites attract Or you make me complete With we have nothing in common Sometimes we don’t build arguments on logic We modify our logic to satisfy our arguments Our personal biases govern such reason Makes us happier but hollower, weird tradeoff My and my customer’s heads engage in this too We call it upon the stars to leave weird trails for us Orange monkeys were four times three Genesis of Earth was four plus three Four negative three makes us one Coincidences surprise us and we demand reason I would have said it was meant to be I did so during previous pitches in fact But now I understand my biases If this was an argument to prove predestination The insignificances of f(four, three) for infinitely many f(x) And that of genesis and monkeys with respect to some of these functions Make for infinitely many logical counters Regardless I love these numbers Helps cloud our judgements I don’t mind the false reaffirmation for decisions that feel great Because one misconception that proves a decision is great isn’t logical Doesn’t mean the decision can’t be great I seem happier and it’s all that matters What are the chances? With a meandering heart, as high as you want them to be Pity my customer made sure I wasn’t delusional Atleast I’m not disrespected About as unaffected as I’m sad Impatient and immature, I did call it upon myself I did let down the coin Consequently the coin called off its promises Everything is so predictable I mostly know the consequences of my actions Although sometimes helps me be righteous, I’m bored Can I not be surprised? Can nothing come out of nowhere Grab my balls, make me squeal, leave me in wonder Maybe the decisions I make are too easy Imagine instead of deciding when to say what Having to deal with a murder Not knowing the consequences It’s horrible how I can relate to such actions And sympathize with the murderer I want to join a fight club I don’t think I can predict how many punches come my way I feel too austere, I wonder what my blood tastes like My logic is skewed, how am I ready to let down my great stars Only because I’m bored? These biases are so influential Earlier satisfied with coin flips dictating morals, And now I find knowing morals boring I either need to make up my mind or I think too much, sometimes I do feel satisfied in moments Should live for those Just feel really hollow right now Would I wish for a numb brain if I could? I wanted to be a bird when I was younger Evolution is real, but what purpose does it serve? What the fuck is that question? What purpose does anything serve? I think two options Someone really gracious turns around predictable toggles While I sit here, really thankful but not very entertained I serve as a test subject for hopefully meaningful research Or I just am Don’t know if I’d prefer either But knowing could decide me choose right biases If I just was, I’ll carelessly do what I want Go around living in the moment If I’m part of some research I’ll live more by my morals Won't be in a superposition between the two It’d be so cool to have a clone We’ll both live by each purpose I’m sure out of billions, many live on both extremes I’d just like information about the correct one Onwards I go with no validated metric to judge my actions.